blog.authenticconsequence.com

Unconditional Encouragement

authentic consequence — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 00:25:00 GMT

Springtime in Chicago starts the season of neighborhood runs and races of all lengths. Marathons, half marathons, 5Ks, you name it, opportunities to get out and run for a good cause abound across the city. This past weekend I participated in my very first 5K run/walk. I’m the first to admit, I am not a runner, although I do love a long, brisk walk. I was a complete beginner to any sort of running race yet I was curious about what it would be like to experience a physically challenging activity such as a 5K. So I set a goal for myself to complete a 5K within 50 minutes by walking at a brisk pace. When I first thought about this goal, it seemed impossible. Could my legs actually move that fast? The biggest challenge for me was to just do it. I found excitement in committing myself to the process, picking up my race packet, pinning my number bib to my jacket, lacing up my tennis shoes, and getting started! I felt nervous yet exuberant, like I was participating in something that was so much bigger than me. Standing at the start line in the early morning light, I wondered what lessons the race would hold for me. What would I learn about my body's abilities and limitations? Something I didn't expect was to learn was what it means to give unconditional encouragement.

As the race started, I crossed the start line at a steady jog that was motivated by pure excitement. I intended to progress through the race with mostly just walking mixed with spurts of jogging if I could handle it. Not wanting to blow through all of my energy in the first mile, I slowed down to a brisk walk and took a look around the neighborhood where the race took place. The big, historic homes, the tree-lined streets, it was a beautiful sight. And then, I noticed them… Small groups of people, families and friends, lined up on the sidewalks along the race route. I saw parents sitting in lawn chairs or on porches, watching while their pajama-clad children danced back and forth cheering us on as we passed by. The kids held homemade signs with words of encouragement scrawled in big colorful letters. Their enthusiasm was contagious. Their simple sharing of encouragement was empowering. And their support of this community activity was so inspiring to witness. Seeing and feeling this example of encouragement made me walk and jog faster. All of these people were perfect strangers to me yet they gave me exactly what I didn't know I needed during the entire race – positive, unconditional encouragement. I finished the race with joy and a deep feeling of accomplishment. Not only did I meet my goal, I blew right past it! And I was surprised to find that my expectations of what I thought I could accomplish were exceeded as well.

Post race, I thought about the experience and what exactly made it so successful for me. I realized that it was the positive, unconditional encouragement from the cheering pajama kids that motivated me. I emotionally connected to their energy and that connection literally propelled me forward. I wondered what life would be like for all of us if we each had a powerful, consistent team of cheerleaders encouraging us to achieve our goals and dreams. As a Life Coach, providing positive, unconditional encouragement for my clients is vital to the coaching process. It moves the client forward to not only achieve their goal, but also exceed their own expectations of what they thought was possible. My race experience brought this concept home for me. Powerful stuff!!

Think about your own life, who are the positive, unconditional encouragers in your life? And if you can’t seem to find an answer to that question, then why not be a positive, unconditional encourager for someone else? Hold up that colorful handmade sign for a friend, a child, a family member, or even a perfect stranger. Dance around in your pajamas and give them a big dose of “Yes, You Can!” to move them forward. We all run the race of life. Striving to move beyond an average pace, connecting on a deeper level, and living as an example each day - this is how we all reach and exceed our goals with determination, strength, authenticity and powerful results. Yes, You Can!!

Resurrecting Joyous Activity

authentic consequence — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 17:31:00 GMT

Re-posted from Feature Article on Chicagonista.com

As you start to read the words of this article, just pause for a moment and pat yourself on the back. Congratulate yourself for getting to this point in your life journey and for being you – as is, in this present moment. You are quite an extraordinary individual. No one else in this entire universe could be you because you are infinitely unique. Congratulations on being one in infinity!

Since we are all unique in our own ways, why not celebrate those ways to their fullest? There are parts of you that only you can express and only in the way you can express them. Sometimes life gets in the way of our ability to be who we are. Expectations from family, friends, jobs, communities, even our own fears can put the things we love to do on hold for extended periods of time, sometimes years. Yet because we find joy in expressing the unique parts of ourselves, that joy can be accessed any time, after any period of hibernation, no matter how many years it has been, because these joyous activities are a part of who we are.

For example, I am a creative individual. I spent my growing years performing music, dance and theatre. Yet when I graduated from college with a music degree, I lost my ability to perform. And it wasn’t because someone told me I couldn’t perform, or that I was incapable of performing, or that I had no talent for the performing arts. It was simply that I stopped putting forth the effort of finding new opportunities to share my unique talent. I allowed “real life” to get in the way. There were bills to pay, job tasks to accomplish, things to acquire. I allowed all of this to take over and my joy for performing was covered up. Over the past fifteen years, I’ve allowed myself to believe that this was a good thing. That allowing my natural, inherent artistic ability to stay hidden deep inside of me was okay. I was afraid that the sacrifices I would have to make to get to a state of performing again were too big and that I had been away from the stage for too long. The obstacles I put in my path (all mental and of my own doing) were huge to me and too overwhelming. And then, a couple of months ago, completely out of nowhere, an opportunity for me to be involved in a dance performance presented itself. The instant I learned about this opportunity I felt a deep and intense joy rising from inside of me. I was literally jumping up and down I was so excited! And this made me realize, all those blocks I had put in my own way were useless in the presence of this joy. The power of the emotion I felt melted the fear I had held onto for so long and I could finally see a way to allow my creative talents to rise up once again and be expressed. I figured the path might not be easy, but now I am more than willing to allow this part of me to shine. And this time, it doesn’t matter to me if I succeed or fail, the point is that I am involved in doing something I love and I am allowing myself to be me. This is where the foundation of the joy I feel lies. And every life experience I have had up to this point enriches my resurrected joyous activity.

Now that you have taken the time to congratulate yourself on being you, what parts of yourself are you not allowing to shine? What is a simple, small step that you could take today to bring that part of yourself out? Release the investment in the end result. Taking that simple step could involve a multitude of choices, yet just allow yourself to be present in the moment and experience the joy again. What will put the spring in your step?

What Are You Sleeping About?

authentic consequence — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:45:00 GMT

Re-posted from Featured Article on Chicagonista.com

It’s the dead of winter. It’s a time of hibernation for nature, rest and renewal. As humans, we may just feel tired and cold for a few months. I know I’ve spent most of my time recently indoors, hibernating under blankets, and watching TV. Although this may seem like lazy behavior, I still find inspiration during this restful period. Two television programs provided me with a renewed perspective this past week - The Winter Olympics and Dr. Wayne Dyer’s “Excuses Begone” telecast on PBS.

I am continuously amazed at the physical abilities and mental stamina of Olympic athletes. Their examples of courage, strength and triumph over every obstacle are spell-binding. Many times I found myself transfixed by the television screen, mouth open in awe, sitting at the edge of my seat, hoping and praying and cheering them on to victory. Some athletes won gold and some are going home empty-handed, yet their consistent drive to achieve their Olympic dream is an awesome motivator for people of all abilities. I consider myself to be an observer of sports rather than a participant and as an observer, I want to get inside the mind of an athlete and understand what drives them so fiercely. What lessons can I learn from their example? Perseverance under pressure comes to mind. Giving it all you’ve got no matter if the odds are stacked against you is another lesson to learn. Holding the vision of a dream accomplished in your mind before it is even a part of your experience in reality is the most powerful inspiration for me. I imagine that every single Olympic athlete across the globe has dreamed of winning an Olympic gold medal for most of their lives. And because of their ability to hold the clarity and detail of that dream in their minds first, they accomplish great things.

Dr. Wayne Dyer’s program “Excuses Begone” provided me with an inspiration that hit closer to home on a more practical level. He spoke of the power of our subconscious mind and our ability to tap into that power by simply observing our thoughts. I’ve been practicing this technique for many years yet I’m always learning new approaches. Dr. Dyer spoke of the activity of your conscious mind during the last five minutes before you fall asleep at night. And how most of us lay there in bed rehashing our days, what was accomplished, what was not accomplished, and particularly what went wrong during our day. These daily summaries tend to be negative in content and, if we are able to drift off to sleep, when our subconscious mind takes over we are entering this period of rest with negative thoughts swarming around in our heads. Not exactly a restful, satisfying, stress-free approach to sleep. This got me to wonder, what do Olympic athletes think about right before they fall asleep? Maybe they think about their training schedules and how to do better tomorrow, but I bet you without a doubt that every one of them drifts off to sleep with the thought of winning that gold medal. And they do that every single night.

So maybe we are not all Olympic athletes or doctors of psychology, yet we can learn from their examples. Imagine the power we can harness within ourselves by simply thinking positively right before we rest our conscious minds into the subconscious. Taking those five minutes to count blessings, affirm our strengths, congratulate ourselves for doing the best we could, and feeling hopeful for a fresh start tomorrow. Holding our dreams actively in thought and believing that we can accomplish anything we set our minds to. Then, we get to dream of endless possibilities for a few solid hours, without restrictions or limitations, finding ourselves rested and refreshed in the morning.

Make your dreams Olympic-sized and go for the gold!

Uncovering Denial

authentic consequence — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 03:15:00 GMT

Recently I watched the film The Shadow Effect which was produced by Debbie Ford. I didn’t know much about the film or anything about Debbie Ford, but the theme of the film was what intrigued me. “The Shadow Effect explores the forces of dark and light that compete for attention within every human being.” www.theshadoweffect.com

I have always believed that suppressing and denying who we are and what we have experienced, particularly the dark side of ourselves, has a destructive effect on our entire lives. Elements such as fear, shame and guilt cause us to hate the dark part of ourselves on a deep level. And sometimes we may not even realize just how destructive this self-hatred has become. What I took away from The Shadow Effect is the concept that it is vital for each one of us to find the courage to explore and uncover the elements of our “shadow self.” This may be the most terrifying challenge we will ever face, yet it is the only way for healing and progress to occur.

In my own life, I have attempted to become more aware of the elements of my shadow self for over twenty-five years. And I feel like I am just beginning to understand and accept who I really am. This process of self-discovery is continuous and brings me new enlightment every single day. My adventure will never be over because there is always something new to learn, a new fear to conquer, and a different part of myself to explore. Sure, the process is pretty scary at times, yet it also holds the gifts of freedom, excitement, joy, gratitude, and satisfaction with each new accomplishment.

After watching the film, I also relate to the concept of my shadow self on an entirely different level. I used to think of my dark side as something I needed to hide, be ashamed of, or get rid of at all costs (and the costs are very, very high!). Now I see that to understand and accept my shadow self is a part of who I am as a progressive spiritual being. I can never outrun my shadow, but I can shine a light into the darkness, face the elements of my shadow self, accept the lessons they bring, and forgive myself for all of the self-hatred. With each step, I experience feelings of freedom and absolute love, the effects of accepting another part of my shadow self. This is incredibly empowering and it motivates me to continue to move forward.

Encouraging all of you to explore your own “shadow self” using the courage and power you carry deep within you. Shine your light into the shadows to reveal and accept every element of your true identity. Find your peace.

A New Spiritual Time Line

authentic consequence — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 17:16:00 GMT

I consider myself to be a spiritual person. I am constantly seeking to know and understand the truth about myself and how I relate to the universe. I feel humble awe at how little control I have over anything in life. When I do allow myself to recognize the importance of letting go of my “stuff” I immediately feel a strong sense of happiness and peace. This is where my spiritual outlook comes into play.

Yet I am not a religious person. Never could quite understand why I need to join power-hungry, hypocritical and controlling human organizations in order to align myself with my true Source (but that is another blog post...). My spiritual outlook involves concepts such as energy, intention, service and karma. These concepts bring me inspiration. When I’m in need of inspiration, I seek out examples that are naturally aligned with these concepts. Inspiration for me is usually found in people taking action, historical references, motivating literature, strong ideas, and the power of simply quieting the mind. I have one of those chatter minds and when things get glum, my chatter mind just loves to throw me plummeting into the deepest depths. We all have our struggles, yes?

Recently I was in quite an emotional and mental funk. And when I get this way I understand that, although my kind and supportive friends offer comfort and advice, it really is up to me to find my own answers. It is also a new year. I’m not one for resolutions yet I thrive on the concept of a fresh start. So there I was, rumbling around in my funk, dramatically flinging my “stuff” all over the landscape of my broken heart and chattering mind, and I suddenly felt very exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted, and incredibly frustrated with myself that I was starting off my new year in such a negative state of boohoo ha. I was desperately searching for an inspiring example. And then, there he was.

Let’s just say he is a historical figure. Everybody knows him but not everybody believes he existed. I’m not going to focus on who he was, I want to focus on the example he gave us. Whether you believe in him or not, it is hard to deny the metaphysical meaning behind his final example. And how quickly he accomplished it. See, when I’m in a negative state of boohoo ha, I allow myself to stay there till all else is lost. It gets to the point where I feel so sorry for myself that doom and gloom is everywhere. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna go eat worms. Boohoo ha indeed. Blah blah blah… Where I found my inspiration this time was in the concept of what can be accomplished in three days. Just three days. My historical figure reminded me of what he overcame in three days – DEATH. Yes, the be-all end-all of doom and gloom itself!! And silly me, here I was feeling sorry for myself about something I had no control over and that would never actually kill me no matter how hard I tried. Suddenly, my perspective shifted. My harmless problem lost all of its imaginary importance and thus all of its seeming power over my naturally positive outlook. My chattering mind was silenced. And I could feel my strong sense of happiness and peace revealing itself once again.

So, I have made a fresh start covenant with myself. Whenever I feel boohoo ha about any and all problems in my life, I will only allow myself a maximum of three days to procure, punctuate, process and purge. If he could overcome DEATH in three days, surely my problems can be solved in a matter of hours, minutes, maybe even seconds. Aligning with my Source, recognizing how my energy and intention flow, practicing letting go, allowing the inspiration to reveal itself, and giving gratitude for the gift of being present. This is my new super duper strong and sassy spiritual time line. Boo Yah!

Catch Happiness

authentic consequence — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:35:00 GMT

This is a re-post from a note on Facebook. Author unknown.

Here are the most prominent symptoms of this wonderful enlivening 'disease':

1). The tendency to let yourself be guided by intuition instead of acting under pressure of fear, forced ideas and pre-conditioned behaviour.

2). A total loss of interest in:- judging others, convicting yourself and preoccupation with things that create conflict.

3). A complete loss of the capacity to worry – This is one of the most serious symptoms!

4). A continual pleasure in appreciating humans and things the way they are, which weakens one’s tendency to want to 'change' others.

5). The desire to change oneself so that innate thoughts, feelings, emotions and bodily matters are managed in ways that facilitate only Health, Creativity and Love.

6). Repetitive attacks of smiling - a smile that says “Thank You” and stimulates being at-one with all those around.

7). A growing openness towards childishness, simplicity, laughter and happiness.

8). More frequent moments of communication with one’s Soul in non-duality, that in turn creates the pleasant feeling of fulfilment and joy within.

9). Finding pleasure in acting as a Healer who spreads Joy and Light, instead of criticism and indifference.

10). The ability to effortlessly live alone, as a couple, with family, or in a community on the basis of equality, without any need to play the role of executioner (or wanting to be sacrificed!).

11). A feeling of responsibility and joy to share with the world one’s dreams of an abundant, harmonic and peaceful future for all.

12). Total acceptance of one’s own presence on Earth and the will to choose each moment only for what is gracious, good, truthful and alive!

Do you want to continue living in fear, dependency, conflict, dis-ease and conformism?

If not, then at all cost avoid people who display these symptoms; this disease is very contagious!

Medical treatment can temporarily repress the symptoms, although the progress of the disease has very often been inevitable.

There just isn’t an 'anti-happiness' Vaccine'!

Because this Happiness Pandemic causes a loss of fear of death, the central pillar upon which the beliefs of materialistic modern-day society rest, there is now a risk of societal turmoil with a complete loss of interest in warfare and the necessity to always be 'right'!

Gatherings of happy people who sing, dance and celebrate life, the emergence of people who celebrate their physical and spiritual healing, crises of extreme joy and even Séances of collective emotional vent, are all now at hand!

Please infect others with 'HP101' where ever you go.

Practicing Financial Abundance

authentic consequence — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:06:00 GMT

No matter what your income level, we all struggle with the anxiety, worry and fear of not having enough money. Even common phrases about money spell out doom and gloom: “...the love of money is the root of all evil...” “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” “Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.” “Make money your god and it will plague you like the devil.” “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” “Your money or your life.” “You can't take it with you.” Hearing these phrases repeated in the collective consciousness, no wonder we all have anxiety, worry and fear about the topic of money!

Take a step back for a moment and think - how healthy is your relationship with money? If your answer is “not very,” ever consider how changing your perspective about your relationship with money can bring more of it into your experience? Studies on spending habits and money management reveal our relationship with money is more emotional and psychological than mathematical. Your relationship with money effects all the other relationships in your life, so when you establish a healthy and positive approach to what money really is, the abundance you experience flows over into all of your other relationships.

Establishing a relationship with money that is healthy, positive and abundant starts with how you think about money. When we think of money as limited, restrictive, and easily lost, the creation of that mental energy produces more limitations, restrictions and loss in our life experience. To reverse this effect, replace negative thoughts about money with positive ones. Lighten up by changing the story that you tell yourself about your relationship with money and give it a positive, abundant twist. Within moderate reason, act as if your financial status is already abundant. Live each day expressing gratitude for your current provisions and expect that the financial resources you need to take care of your future financial obligations will be provided for you at the perfect time. We place ourselves in control of our financial abundance when we respect money and see it as a tool that we use to bring ourselves closer to making our dreams into reality. When we consciously let go of the anxiety, worry and fear we hold onto about money we are practicing financial abundance. By practicing financial abundance, you open up, allow the flow of positive energy into your life, and experience the overflow that comes with truly letting go.

"Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.” - Ayn Rand

Place yourself in the driver's seat. Take control of your thoughts about money, stay organized, respectful, grateful, and understand that your financial well being is secure and abundant.

Don't Give Up! Let Go...

authentic consequence — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:41:00 GMT

We've all heard talk in the media about the power of your thoughts. Self-realization gurus preach it, doctors relate it to your ultimate health care plan, and even Oprah has shows dedicated to exploring the topic of this “secret”. It is the belief that what you think in your mind is directly related to what you experience in your life. What you believe to be true in your mind creates your reality and experience. This topic can seem kind of confusing, mystical and even unrealistic. It might even lead you to question “if it really was that easy, wouldn't everyone be doing it?” Ah ha! In reply to this skepticism, I respond with a resounding, “Yes!” It really is that easy. Fortunately, every single day more and more people are recognizing the correlation between mind and matter as a scientific fact. As a Personal and Spiritual Wellness Coach, a core part of the work I do with my clients is helping them become aware of the thoughts they hold in their minds. And to become aware of whether or not these thoughts match their true desires and goals for what they want to experience in their lives. If the thoughts and desires do not match, we work together to plant new seeds and watch them grow. It is a beautiful process to witness and as their coach I learn a lot from my clients. I also learn a lot about myself.

One of the most aggressive beliefs that people hold onto is their inability to let go of something, someone, or a past regret. This aggressive belief can have a tenacious grip on the limiting thoughts we all have about ourselves and how we relate to others. It can also cause so much damage to one's self image that it seems almost impossible to overcome. Yet it is possible to release the grip, to bring healing and to ultimately let go. In my coaching, I like to start my clients on this path of letting go by sharing small, simple steps. It is amazing what can happen when you start small yet think big. For today, I want to share with you a small, simple perspective on the difference between “letting go” versus “giving up.”

Giving up is a passive, negative action. Its motivation stems from frustration and fear. Giving up says to the world, “I don't care enough to try to figure this out for myself, so I give up!” When you give up on something, you no longer allow the idea to manifest good in your life. You allow yourself to believe that your ability to reach a goal is absolutely impossible and thus it becomes impossible. Giving up has negative energy at its core so it can only bring more negative energy into your thoughts and thus your life. And when all you can see is a negativity reality, the negative events that follow your negative thoughts only confirm your impossible, miserable state of being. Giving up leads nowhere, you can’t learn the lesson if you don’t chose to walk the path.

On the other hand, letting go is a positive, affirmative action. It confirms that even though you may not have the answers you seek today, you are willing to remain open to those answers appearing sometime in the future. Letting go removes the ego from a decision or an action. It puts aside desperate, selfish motivations and recognizes that time and patience will bring about your intended outcome in the most beneficial way possible for everyone involved. Letting go involves love and selflessness as a basis for motivation. It recognizes that the only person we truly have control over is ourselves and the thoughts we think. Letting go has positive energy at its core and this energy invites peace, forgiveness, hope and happiness into your thoughts, your perspective and your outlook for the future.

So the question to ask yourself next time you are facing a difficult decision is, “Am I going to give up or let go?” Start small, think big. Let go of the belief that you are motivated to do anything out of fear, frustration or need to control. Let go of that aggressive belief that tells you the only way to joy and happiness is to hold on tight with all your strength. Loosen your grip and let yourself be free.

And if you feel you need some help along the way to clarify the unique path upon which you are traveling, simply reach out. I am here to help you and support you - every small, simple step of the way.

To Work or Not To Work - The Mommy Decision

authentic consequence — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 05:11:00 GMT

It’s that time of year again…time to tackle the To Do lists, prepare the kids for school and anticipate the new experiences that lie ahead for everyone in the family. It is also that time of year when moms tend to question whether or not they have made the best choices for themselves and their families. Specifically, I’ve heard women expressing some concern about the emotional conflicts that they feel about the decision they have made to be a stay-at-home, a working mom or work-at-home mom.

The process of making this decision starts early in your child’s development, yet it seems that some moms struggle with this decision every single day as their child grows. For those moms who feel this conflict, please know that it doesn’t have to be a part of your reality. You can be free from this emotional conflict with just a slight shift in perspective. Let’s explore that a bit.

In reviewing the responses to a survey of my amazing women friends who are moms, there were three common factors that contributed to their individual decisions to be a stay-at-home mom, a working mom or a work-at-home mom. These factors include 1) Maintaining a stable presence for their children during the infant, toddler and early school years; 2) The ability to have a flexible schedule in regards to the children’s activities and their own activities; and 3) Helping to meet the economic needs of the family. I think we can all safely admit that society is still very mixed up about the true definition of a “good” mom. Women (and men) are still being held to the old school standards that don’t fit into the lifestyle of the modern parent. They are made to feel inadequate and lazy for being a “domestic engineer” yet at the same time they are made to feel guilty if they spend too much time working. When comparing ourselves to standards that are outside of our reality, we just can’t win! So, do yourself a big favor and put the expectations of others aside. This is your life and this is your family. You have the right to make your own decision to do whatever you feel is right for you and your child. This is the moment to go with your gut.

With regard to the emotional conflict that women feel about their decision to be a stay-at-home, working or work-at-home mom, there are two basic emotional elements that keep popping up – guilt and fear. The guilt comes into play when moms feel that somehow they don’t quite measure up to the standards of motherhood, however those are defined. The fear comes up when thinking of missing out on the milestone moments of your child’s development. There is also the fear of missing out on critical career opportunities and the satisfaction of having a challenging career. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just let go of all of that guilt and fear? Well, you can. Deal with the fear by seeing it clearly for what it really is – False Evidence Appearing Real. Try the same for the guilt when society throws unrealistic expectations your way. Shine the bright light of reality on that guilt and fear and it will disappear. Understand how these emotional conflicts do not apply to your life because everyone has different needs and desires. Most importantly, when you see thru the guilt and fear and put it in its place, then you have a clear perspective of who you really are and what you really want. Guaranteed, your children and family will joyously, lovingly benefit from the shift in your own perspective.

So next time you begin to question your choices, ease up on yourself. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to recognize and accept where you are in this moment. Quietly repeat this simple affirmation to yourself every time you begin to question - Today, I am the very best mom that I can be because my love for my child is limitless and unconditional.

One of the moms from my survey responded with this all-encompassing statement: "In my opinion, it doesn't matter whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a work-at-home mom. All that really matters is the amount of unconditional love you give your children. There's no title on that.” – C. Graham, mother of three kids and step-mom of two

Simple and wise words for every mommy to consider.

The Environment of Change

authentic consequence — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:40:00 GMT

Recently I’ve been contemplating the concept of what it means to change. I’ve been thinking about change on a small scale yet I’ve been focusing on ultimately making big changes. These are changes so big that from where I’m standing now, I can’t envision the outcome, yet I know it’s there waiting for me. I wonder about what these changes will do to my sense of self and my emotional well being. What good will they bring to my life? Will they finally leave me feeling happy and satisfied? And where do I even begin?

Needing to bounce some ideas off of a willing sounding board, I sought out a dear friend who has given me inspiration and motivation for action in the past. We discussed these thoughts over dinner and although my friend did not express any specific opinions, our conversation left me in an emotional tizzy! I felt like this was a conversation we’d had many times before yet even though months had past, I’d made no progress with the big changes I desired in my life. I felt incredibly frustrated, even judged, and I wondered why my current life just doesn't seem to ever measure up. I instinctively reacted to these feelings of inadequacy by wanting to change everything about my life - instantly. I wanted my life to be grander, more meaningful, BIGGER, and I wanted it now! My heart was screaming at me to push though the process faster while my logical side slammed on the brakes and spoke of fear and regret. Frustrated, I tried to calm my thoughts and simply asked myself “What do I really want? And WHY do I want it?” I repeated these questions to myself until the answer came softly, and it said, “What’s the rush? Slow down. Enjoy the process, learn from the small steps, rejoice in the details, and smile at the subtlety. Your change is here now, in this present moment. Just notice.” And after sitting with this for awhile and absorbing the instructions, I understood that this is how real, positive, satisfying change happens.

Attempting to live a life that isn’t in sync with our own natural time table leaves us unsatisfied, crazed and feeling empty. Just as nature shows us in subtle ways how the earth is changing because of our choices and lifestyles, our emotions are subtle indicators of how sustainably we are living our lives. Pushing ourselves beyond our emotional capacities on a regular basis and carelessly wasting our emotional resources wears us down. We are left dried up, lifeless and numb, unable to express or even recognize our true selves. Moving too fast and constantly being distracted by what comes next - what we “should” be doing, what we “have to” accomplish, who we are “expected” to be - is living in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction. At the opposite end, getting ourselves wedged so tightly into a state of “comfort” that our desire for growth and progress completely disappears is living in a perpetual state of status quo. Striving to find the balance in our emotional environment is essential for living an emotionally sustainable life.

This life is not a competition it is a journey that is individual to each one of us. All of the small changes that occur in our everyday lives, most of which we don’t even notice, are imperative to the process of getting to our desired point of big change. We renew our emotional resources by taking the time to slow down, get quiet, breathe deeply, and become aware of the subtle shifts of change. Softly asking ourselves “What do I really want? And WHY do I want it?” When the answer is honest and emotionally sustainable, it naturally leads us on our life path to change at a pace that brings us happiness and deep satisfaction.

The Power of Questions

authentic consequence — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 19:42:00 GMT

Naturally, I'm a curious person. I am constantly questioning myself as to where I am in my life, where I want to go, and how do I get there. My mind is a blur of logic, technicalities and creativity while my heart is always trying to find the balance to make sense of it all. Possessing a kind of nerdy inquisitive nature, I read product manuals cover to cover to understand exactly how the product works before using it. I research topics intensely before making decisions. I always have to find out the "what?" and "why?". On the flip side, I possess a surprisingly keen intuition that I'm still learning to trust when it comes to matters that are not so logical. I'm also quite curious when it come to people. I find their unique qualities to be intriguing, their behaviors fascinating and I'm always wondering what they're really thinking. A satisfying conversation to me has elements of asking questions of other people just to find out what they believe and how they process information. Applying this natural curiosity to the art of helping others is what attracts me to being a life coach.

Not everyone is comfortable with asking questions. Or stated another way, people are more uncomfortable with the answers to questions and so they just avoid questioning altogether. Seems to me though, in order to progress as individuals and members of our communities, we need to ask powerful questions of ourselves and others so that we obtain clarity, understanding and growth.

I recently participated in a teleconference with the Chicago Coaching Federation (CCF) on the topic of Powerful Questions. There was a lot of "coach talk" from the other participants yet most of the call was done within an inquisitive atmosphere - at times it was even lightly humorous. This was not the tone I expected from a serious life coach topic yet I was delighted to chime in and listen to the ideas presented. At one point during the call a coach brought up the concept of how to deal with the fear of "getting it right". We've all felt this at one time or another - am I saying the "right" thing? Am I doing what is "right" for me? What will others think of me if I don't get this "right"? This kind of fear can be crippling!! It deals with our own ability (or inability) to accept ourselves just as we are, imperfections and all, in this present moment. And it also asks the question - am I willing to allow myself to accept the possibility of failure? Maybe even failing miserably?

We all make mistakes, its part of being human and living life, the key to our success is how we perceive ourselves and our situations before and after we have failed. To have the willingness to take the risk to be wrong - allowing ourselves to do the very best we can do - knowing that if we fail, we still win! Making the choice to see all of our life adventures as learning experiences really does bring a sense of lightness to the risks we take, no matter the outcome. If we all perceived our choices this way, what happens to our fears? What if our fears vanished? What accomplishments are not being fulfilled because of the fears we let hold us back? What do we need to let go of in order to accomplish our goals?

Perfection really is overrated. None of us have all of the answers. What is important to remember is that we are all learning at our own pace and in our own way. In the words of one of my favorite college music professors, we are all here to "love the process". For most people, it is necessary to ask for help while "in process". A life coach is a supportive, encouraging and inspiring resource that you depend on for the appropriate assistance you need - feel free to contact me when you are ready. In the meantime, take a moment to ask yourself a powerful question or two. Maybe even start backwards and ask - what are the answers to the questions I'm afraid to ask? You might just surprise yourself at what you discover.

If You're Open to Growth, You Tend to Grow

authentic consequence — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:58:00 GMT

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/business/06unbox.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Revisiting Inspiration

authentic consequence — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 03:58:00 GMT

Recently I re-opened a book that has been sitting on my bookshelf for many years. We all have those kinds of books, ones we intend to read cover to cover, absorbing every detail, letting it transform our lives, yet somehow we never get past the second chapter. Yeah, one of those books... Well, I was feeling like I needed some transformation. So I slid the book from its dusty shelf and opened to the first page where I found this familiar quote:

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium. It will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive.” ~ Martha Graham (to Agnes de Mille)

I first read, studied and analyzed this quote while preparing my senior thesis in my final year of college. The subject of the thesis was on the music that Aaron Copeland composed for two choreographers – Martha Graham and Agnes de Mille. At that point in my life I had an extreme passion for music and dance, one that motivated every action I took and Martha Graham was my creative idol (she still is). In looking back now almost 15 years later, I wonder what happened to that passion. I still appreciate all forms of visual and performing arts yet somehow I lost sight of how I participate in them. My need to provide a comfortable lifestyle for myself has dominated my daily living to the point where I now feel creatively aged, dried up and empty. I secretly told myself that being an artist was just a hobby for me with which to pass the time between my childhood and the day I joined the real world as an adult. Inside I always hoped that my talents were genuine yet I allowed the critical self-talk to take over and talk me out of ever pursuing my artistic dreams. I’ve spent many years wondering what could have been. Living with the constant dissatisfaction of my daily routine, I’ve become numb. I deeply miss the creative passion I once felt, the moments of inspiration, the feelings of accomplishment. It was with this heavy heart that I re-read this quote and I felt… hope. The words popped off the page at me! I felt an instant realization that no matter what I might think I’ve “lost” there is no denying that the power of my unique expression must prevail. No matter the illusion of how much time has passed, it truly is my business to remain open and aware. I am taking the action, here and now, to do everything I can to keep that life force unblocked and the channel open. My creativity may look different now yet its inevitable expression still holds the same motivation, passion and accomplishment of my college days. It is with this same enthusiastic energy that I share what I have learned. I do not claim to be an expert nor will I ever think that I have all the answers. I know that I am learning still, ever evolving and changing. I just want to help others do the same within their own unique journeys…

Thoughts Become Things

authentic consequence — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 02:22:00 GMT

Daily inspiration tailored to your individual needs.

I continue to be inspired by the daily emails I receive from this web site: www.tut.com

Mike Dooley is the author of the daily emails. You might recognize his name from his affiliation with the mega self-help book The Secret. Yet long before that book, Mike's web site has provided inspiration to many.

In a divinely kitschy fashion, the emails come addressed from "The Universe", giving the reader a feeling of instant understanding with a wink and a nod. I like to think of them as my daily secret intelligence debrief, direct from my version of a higher power.

Try it out! You may just find the emails to be enjoyable reminders of the simple things we all too often forget.